“6. Part of the reason why you went out so much and partied was because you suffered from Fear Of Missing Out or, as some people like to call it, F.O.M.O. As you get older, however, you realize that the only thing you miss out on after 2 a.m. is someone calling their coke dealer and a woman in a cupcake dress with smeared eye makeup crying in the bathroom.
7. You have hangovers that are sort of unreal. It didn’t used to be this bad but now whenever you have four or five drinks, you can pretty much guarantee that the next day is going to be entirely deleted. It used to be fun spending your entire day in bed hungover watching Netflix and ordering Seamless but now it’s just depressing. To feel better, you’ll sit in the shower for an inordinate amount of time and let the water wash over you, feeling like a total screw up. It’s a steep price to pay for one night of so-called fun.”